Have you ever been in a situation where your problem is dependent on the other person? You have no other power than to request them again and again to solve the problem. Till the time the problem is not solved , you have to suffer even when it’s not your fault.
What do you do during these situations? Do you keep requesting them again and again? Or do you threaten them, yell at them?
In my stay in Hyderabad, I went through such situation last monday. It was with an auto rikshawala. My friends and I had to go to office early so we decided to take a sharing auto. A sharing auto has a capacity of 10 people and the charge from my place to my office was ₹10-₹15 per person. We were total 16 people. When we talked to the rikshawala about the charge he said ₹20. We all told him that it is ₹15 and persuaded him to take us to office in ₹15. Till 45 minutes my friends kept arguing with the auto rikshawalas to take ₹15. Finally one of them agreed at ₹15 but with a condition that all 16 of us had to go in one autoriksha only. When he said this, we all were looking at his face, sarcastically asking him for a way to fit extra 6 people in an auto riksha which have a capacity of 10 people only. It was risky but we had no other option. At the end we managed and reached the office.
When it came to give money, the auto rikshawala deviated from his words and started demanding ₹20. Most of us were furious. It was like how dare he can say ₹20 after fitting 16 people in one autoriksha. I was bit angry and I gave ₹15 to my friend who was collecting the money and started moving towards the office. I was disgusted by the attitude of the auto rikshawala but I chose not to argue with him and walk away. But rest of my friends were still there arguing with him. Suddenly I stopped and faced the auto rikshawala. I scolded him, shouted at him. But it was in vain and I stomped away, yelling at my friends that why they are arguing with this degenerated valued man who can’t keep his words.
It’s been a long time since I have got really angry and have used harsh words. The whole day, I did not feel good. I felt low. It felt like I was surrounded by negativity around me. After lot of self introspection in the office, I realized that the anger I generated and the harsh words I used against the auto rikshawala, may or maynot have affected him, but they definetly affected me. The anger and the harsh words I used against him affected me badly. They tripped me from my balance.
I am selfish and I care a lot about what I feel. All I want is to be at peace and be balanced. Anything that will make me imbalanced I will avoid it. It would have been better if I would have just walked away giving him only ₹15. My shouting at him didn’t change him, neither did he realize his mistake. It only made me imbalaced and sad. So it is better for me to avoid such situtaion if I cannot keep my calm.
At the end I would say that I got low after the incident not because he didn’t keep to his words or he was low in his moral values. I got low because I got angry , I shouted, I used harsh words. The negativity that comes from these things may or maynot have affected him but they affected me. This was a lesson to be learned and I hope not to repeat it again and be kind to myself. 🙂 Keep smiling.