I have always written about my struggles within these three months in my blog. I have written about the types of problems I have faced and for how long and how they were solved with the help of balancing my unbalanced mind through the technique called Vipassana. But today, I am writing this post when I am still in the problem and trying to solve it.
Like I have said in my previous posts also, that through this blog I will keep sharing my experience of doing Vipassana and how much it has helped me in every aspect of life. There are some shining moments and successful experiences and there are some downfalls I have gone through during this time. There is nothing to be added or subtracted from the truth. Whatever I experience is what I write without exaggerating.
For the past 4 days my mind is very imbalanced. I feel agitated, irritated and the reasons that I can point our are the 5 problems that have struck me at once. All these five problems are related to different aspects of my life but one thing common in all these 5 problems are that they all are unpleasant and I don’t want them. If you good at pointing out the faults of others and have been reading my posts lately then you might say that how can I generate aversion towards an unpleasant thing? “It’s been 3 months since you have been doing Vipassana and still you are generating aversion towards unpleasant things. Where did your Vipassana go? You tell us to do it and you yourself can’t change? Where did the power of Vipassana go?”. Well you may say it or not but my family members do taunt me when I lose my temper and react, specially my brother and mother.
Well I wouldn’t like to give any excuses and I will admit it that still there are times when I lose my temper and shout generating complete hatred and aversion. I will admit that there are times when something unpleasant happens and my first reaction is of aversion and anger. In these 4 days there were lot of unpleasant things happening. I was agitated, sad, there was a mist of sadness of which I could not find the source so that I could tackle it. I am new to Vipassana but I never underestimate it and even during this time I tried to tackle my 5 problems with Vipassana. I knew that the proper solution could not be found till the mind is not balanced. Water needs to be calm so as to look into it’s depth.
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